"Deconstructing the Performance of Wellness"

"Here we go 'round the mulberry bush, the mulberry bush, the mulberry bush..."

Round and round we go, circling the same patterns, the same struggles, the same internal battles. It’s a simple children’s rhyme, yet beneath the repetition lies an unsettling truth: how often do we find ourselves caught in cycles we can’t seem to break? Cycles of negative self-talk, toxic relationships, self-sabotage, and unresolved trauma. We wake up each day thinking, this time will be different, yet we keep moving in circles, mistaking motion for progress.

"This is the way we wash our face, wash our face, wash our face…"

But what are we washing off? The dirt, or the illusion? In mental health, we often hear about reframing—the practice of changing our perspective to create a new, positive narrative. And while this can be helpful, there is a hidden danger: too much reframing can turn into self-deception. We tell ourselves, I’m not really rejected, I’m just misunderstood. I didn’t fail, I just learned. I am worthy because I say I am. But deep inside, our hearts remain unconvinced. Positive words without true belief are just noise. We do not manifest what we reframe; we manifest what we truly believe.

"On a cold and frosty morning…"

The frosty morning is the weight of depression, anxiety, and unresolved grief. It’s waking up numb, feeling disconnected from yourself and the world. It’s the frost that settles on your soul when past wounds remain unhealed, and no amount of positive affirmations seem to warm you. The truth is, you cannot wash away the cold by pretending it isn’t there. You cannot wash away your pain with forced positivity. Healing requires more than surface-level cleansing; it demands internal transformation.

"Guard your heart above all else, for everything you do flows from it." (Proverbs 4:23)

This isn’t just Scripture; it’s psychological truth. If what’s in your heart is doubt, fear, or self-hatred, no amount of reframing will make it disappear. You cannot lie to yourself and expect change. You cannot fake healing and call it faith. True healing doesn’t come from running in circles around the mulberry bush, repeating the same affirmations, hoping one day they will stick. It comes from stopping. From sitting in the frost, acknowledging the cold, and letting yourself feel.

Jesus never called people to pretend they were well; He called them to become well. He asked the man at the pool of Bethesda, "Do you want to be healed?" (John 5:6). A strange question, yet profound. Because healing isn’t just about wanting to feel better—it’s about confronting what’s real. It’s about facing the discomfort, the unwashed parts of ourselves, and surrendering them to the only One who can make us whole.

So, here is the challenge: stop circling. Stop washing your face with shallow words. Stop pretending the cold doesn’t exist. Sit with your truth. Name it. Bring it before God. Let Him heal the real you, not the version of yourself you wish you were. True transformation begins when you stop trying to trick yourself into change and instead surrender to the One who actually makes all things new.

The frost will melt. The morning will come. But first, you must stop running.

-Jermy Arnold, M.Div, Certified Mental Health Coach